Just a little stir in the air.

Today, for the last five years, is the saddest day of the year for me. Those of you that know me also know that it is our babies birthday. So I spent the day at the cemetery and down a little. It's hard for me to put my feelings into words, but I really miss them. That's all I can say. This year is as cold as it was on the day they were born. And the weather man keeps saying how it hasn't been this cold in five years, so it has stirred up some emotions that I usually deal with pretty good. But I have learned through many tears that it's okay to miss them and for one day not want to get up and do all the everyday things. Life for me, stops on this day, and that is okay. Hope is around the corner. Maybe one day soon, I won't get to lay in bed and cry. Maybe I will have someone here to make me get up. My chance to be a mom. So with that said, rumors are that this next months batch is going to be a big one.
Here's how it goes. Every month couples on the waiting list get matched with their children. We have a LID (log in date) of March 6th 2006 and they are 6 days away from us. So we hear, the matching is going on right now. We could be assigned to our daughter. Chances are that it won't be until next month, but I can't help get a little excited. I could hear any day if this is our month. So I will keep an update as the month goes on. We should hear something by the 26th or 27th if it's this month. I guess this could be one of the bitter sweet days that I'm not used too. It's one of the only times that I have read the rumors and had some hope. Usually the rumors are gloom and doom. We could have a picture with in the next 30 days. How exciting!!! Someone is looking down on us and sending us angel kisses. Maybe I'll sleep knowing that for a change.