As some of you know we received Tong Min Meng, and Paul had suspensions that something serious was wrong due to her acting like a new born baby. She couldn't hold her head up and wasn't very responsive to us. Without going into all of the problems we became aware of we were advised to take her for an evaluation at the children's hospital. We have been through an emotional roller coaster with finding that her medical condition is very serious. She has mental and physical needs that Paul and I can't meet. Our heart is torn apart once again as we had to turn her over to get her the attention that she needs. With much thought and emotions we are considering a new referral but we aren't sure if we can go through this any more. We want you all to know that we have to make a decision that only we can live with. I'm at a loss for words for what to say to everyone that has supported us. We couldn't do this without you and hope you will pray for the baby we just had to give up. We should hear something about the new baby and then make our decision when we get to that point. We may come home with just Paul and I. I'm praying for answers and peace with our decision.
Sincerely,
Paul and Sandy
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
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Sandy, you are the strongest person i know. I know that was another heartbreaking experience in a series of many you have been thru. I still believe there is a child out there that deserves the wonderful home and love you can provide her.
ReplyDeletePlease do not give up your dream, you've climbed too many mountains.
Sorry, forgot to sign that post.
ReplyDeleteI love and support you guys, whatever your difficult decision.
Love,
Tracy
We are here and support whatever you two decide to do. We are praying for all involved in this heart wrenching series of events and hope you find peace, wherever that may lie.
ReplyDeleteI too believe there is a child out there waiting for you, but will support you whatever you do.
Love,
Karen
Paul and Sandy, it is heartbreaking what you are going through. But keep your heart and your mind open. This child has needs you cannot meet. These needs have now been identified and she can get the help she needs. You cannot give up. You have been through too much. We were pursuing another little boy who ended up with another family before we accepted the referral for Zeke. We traveled with the family who adopted him and after spending time together that child was not meant for us, he was meant to be with the other family and you have seen first hand Zeke was meant to be our son. Keep your heart and your mind open. We support you guys in what ever decision you make. Please Don't give up!!!!! We love you. Chuck, Lorie and kids
ReplyDeleteSandy and Paul,
ReplyDeleteMy heart is truly breaking for you. I pray you find comfort in whatever decision that you make. I will be thinking about you guys and praying for you every day.
Love,
Kristin
I want you all to know that I spoke with Sandy last night for quite some time. Both her and Paul are heartbroken over this. Lily touched both of their hearts in a way that no other child has touched them before. They are on an emotional roller coaster. This is very hard on them.
ReplyDeleteAfter talking with her, it seems that the doctors at the children's hospital knew quickly that Lily had both medical and mental developmental problems. She is not sure why it had not been caught before this. It took Sandy and Paul coming into her life to finally get her the help she has been needing for quite some time now. Sandy and Paul wanted her to get the medical attention she needs and have been assured that she will get help now. The doctors told her development resembled that of a 4 month old baby. She would never reach a "normal" capacity.
They are still struggling with the meaning of all of this. Why? What next? We all know Sandy and Paul have been through so much. Lets all keep praying for them and help them through this extremely difficult process that is still not over.
Sandy and Paul,
We support you no matter what. I know that you are still struggling emotionally with the loss of Lily. Lean on each other, you will get through this. We love you both very much. I am so proud to call you my sister, you are an amazingly strong woman.
Love you,
Jill
We love you with our heart and soul
ReplyDeleteWhat your going through we do not know
I hate to see you in so much pain
I feel like I'm going insane
How much can a person take
How much can a heart ache
You and Paul have suffered for so long
Your decision will not be wrong
Only you all no what to do
No matter what, we will stand by you
You all are a loving husband and wife
You all have truely changed her life
She may not be able to sing and dance
But now she has some kind of chance
It has not been an easy ride
But you will always have us by your side
You are truely my best friend
I will be with you to the end
Sandy and Paul,
ReplyDeleteWe are keeping you in our prayers. We love you dearly. If there is anything we can do please let us know. Byron wanted me to let you know that he is thinking of you. You and Paul have a love that most people dream about. You all will make the best decision. I am so sorry. Kiersten does not understand, she said you all can come stay all night if you want.
love ya
Sherri
Sandy
ReplyDeleteI hope today has brought you peace. I pray that you will find happiness. You and Paul are truely unique individuals. I feel that you can accomplish anything. You all deserve nothing but true happiness. I love you all dearly. God please give them peace in their heart, body, and soul.
Love ya
Sherri
Sandy and Paul,
ReplyDeleteThe only way I have kept track of u all is through Jill. Your family is so supportive of you all. I look at Jill's e-mail yesterday but couldn't quit crying long enough to make a comment. I know you both have had a very rough road to travel and it has to get better. Please do not give up, your hearts are bleeding now but in the long run you will see you have made the right decision for you. You both are who you have to think about. If I had listened to others I would not have the beautiful 32yo young man I have today. My only pregnancy! God will let you be at peace with youself. Keep believing and your dream will come true.
Sandy and Paul;
ReplyDeleteOur hearts were crying with you, now we rejoice with you. Lily brought you to China so you could get help for her, this took you to another venture and the love of your lives, Amelia is so precious may God bring you the peace you seek in her love....Hurry and bring her into our lives too...Love Mom and Dad
Sandy and Paul
ReplyDeleteI hope the comment from your mom and dad, means you will be bringing home another angel God has blessed you with. Sandy, I couldn't write yesterday cause the hurt I felt in my heart for you, hurt me more knowing that the hurt in your heart was greater. You stay strong, and fight for that baby! There is a poem I want you to see and I will attach below.
Love ya Girl!
Kita
By: Brian A. "Drew" Chalker
People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason,you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilleed; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.
LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being part of my life.....
Sandy and Paul
ReplyDeleteWhat angels you two are here on earth. We are all blessed to be part of your lives and we are so much the richer for knowing you. Sandy you are the strongest thing I have ever come across and I am so proud to be your aunt. I am so sorry for the events of this past week but just know I will be there in any way you need me, just as you have always been there for me and my kids..maybe Kara and I can come see Amelia play softball in the years to come as you blessed Kara with your presence at her games. She will never forget that and neither will I. Paul, you have a real gem there. Cherish her. I`ve already told Sandy that I think you are incredible. Could there be any more genuine or more deserving people in the world for this happiness of Amelia? ABSOLUTELY NOT.I also support you with whatever decisions you had to make or will have to make in the future. I`m just a call away and I never sleep so feel free. I love you both, well I guess I should say all three of you. Amelia is so beautiful..just like her momma. Love, Theresa