Friday, January 23, 2009
News on the adoption
I found out today that referrals went through March 2nd, so that leaves us out. I'm okay with this since this is the way things are going for everyone. My sisters aren't very happy with how slow things are going, but I'm used to things slowing way down every other month. Heck I've been waiting almost three years. So we're hanging in there.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Our dates for all of our paperwork
August 21st 2005 decision to start adoption
August 25Th 2005 1st Seminar with Paul
October 18Th 2005 Paul Shawn and I went to get I71h and fingerprints
November 21st 2005 Our first homestudy
December 20Th 2005 Homestudy went to Immigration officer
January 19Th 2006 Recieved our I71H from official
February 10Th 2006 Dossier sent to China
March 6Th 2006 (LID) Log in Date
March 21st 2007 homestudy update 2ND
July 14Th 2007 update fingerprints and I71h
November 11Th 2008 Homestudy update 3RD
December 9Th 2008 Fingerprints I71h update
August 25Th 2005 1st Seminar with Paul
October 18Th 2005 Paul Shawn and I went to get I71h and fingerprints
November 21st 2005 Our first homestudy
December 20Th 2005 Homestudy went to Immigration officer
January 19Th 2006 Recieved our I71H from official
February 10Th 2006 Dossier sent to China
March 6Th 2006 (LID) Log in Date
March 21st 2007 homestudy update 2ND
July 14Th 2007 update fingerprints and I71h
November 11Th 2008 Homestudy update 3RD
December 9Th 2008 Fingerprints I71h update
Just a little stir in the air.
Today, for the last five years, is the saddest day of the year for me. Those of you that know me also know that it is our babies birthday. So I spent the day at the cemetery and down a little. It's hard for me to put my feelings into words, but I really miss them. That's all I can say. This year is as cold as it was on the day they were born. And the weather man keeps saying how it hasn't been this cold in five years, so it has stirred up some emotions that I usually deal with pretty good. But I have learned through many tears that it's okay to miss them and for one day not want to get up and do all the everyday things. Life for me, stops on this day, and that is okay. Hope is around the corner. Maybe one day soon, I won't get to lay in bed and cry. Maybe I will have someone here to make me get up. My chance to be a mom. So with that said, rumors are that this next months batch is going to be a big one.
Here's how it goes. Every month couples on the waiting list get matched with their children. We have a LID (log in date) of March 6th 2006 and they are 6 days away from us. So we hear, the matching is going on right now. We could be assigned to our daughter. Chances are that it won't be until next month, but I can't help get a little excited. I could hear any day if this is our month. So I will keep an update as the month goes on. We should hear something by the 26th or 27th if it's this month. I guess this could be one of the bitter sweet days that I'm not used too. It's one of the only times that I have read the rumors and had some hope. Usually the rumors are gloom and doom. We could have a picture with in the next 30 days. How exciting!!! Someone is looking down on us and sending us angel kisses. Maybe I'll sleep knowing that for a change.
Here's how it goes. Every month couples on the waiting list get matched with their children. We have a LID (log in date) of March 6th 2006 and they are 6 days away from us. So we hear, the matching is going on right now. We could be assigned to our daughter. Chances are that it won't be until next month, but I can't help get a little excited. I could hear any day if this is our month. So I will keep an update as the month goes on. We should hear something by the 26th or 27th if it's this month. I guess this could be one of the bitter sweet days that I'm not used too. It's one of the only times that I have read the rumors and had some hope. Usually the rumors are gloom and doom. We could have a picture with in the next 30 days. How exciting!!! Someone is looking down on us and sending us angel kisses. Maybe I'll sleep knowing that for a change.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
On January 10th 2009
Today we recieved the final piece of paperwork we need to go to China. This is a load off my mind. Now all I have to do is stress out about the rest.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The E-mail I recieved today.
I opened my mail tonight and at 9:30 on a Wednesday night I received a note from my adoption coordinator asking me if I had heard anything back from the CS. on my I71h form. Which is a part of some of the paperwork that is crucial in my adoption. I have been waiting and checking the mail box everyday for the last couple of weeks wondering where it was. But that's just one more thing to stress out about. Back to the e-mail. She went on to say I'm sure you have heard that the referrals were sent out through the end of February 2006 and there's a chance with fingers crossed that you will be in on the next batch. I just sat there and stared at the screen in shock. How many times have I prayed for just that. You, Sandy and Paul might get to see your daughter next month. I couldn't believe what I was reading. I personally don't think that I will be in the batch next month, but it is nice to see those words. Hopefully by March I will get my referral. Just wanted to share the first blink of light with you.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I thought that I needed to post this for all the Mom's
She loves her child with all her heart.
She is patient.
She apoligizes when she's made a mistake.
She gives great hugs and makes the boo-boos feel better.
She lets her child sit on her lap and reads the same story over and
over and over again....
Even if it's the 1000th time she's read "Good
Night Moon."
She wears jewelry made from colored macaroni with pride.
She stands at the door and watches her little one's chest rise and
fall in sleep and wonder's for the zillionth time, "How did I get so
lucky?"
She's usually the first thing her child sees in the morning and the
last one to give her a kiss at night.
She's a cheerleader, nurse, psychologist, teacher, chef, launderer,
accountant, cleaning lady, etc.
A good Mom will hold her little one's hair back while she retches for
the 14th time that night and then places a cool wash cloth on her
neck, kisses her, and tells her it's going to be okay (even though
the bathroom smells awful).
She's the disciplinarian, because even though her heart's desire is
to give her child anything and everything she could ever want, she
knows that's not healthy.
She wants what is best for her little one.
She is willing to sacrifice a great deal for her child, though her
child will never realize what those sacrifices were.
She is warmth and comfort in what can sometimes be a scary world.
Her arms protect and can heal heartaches.
She is the keeper of her child's story. And if her child was
adopted, she lovingly tells that story (even the hard parts) in age
appropriate ways so that her child may grow and come to an
understanding about her history and how she came to be part of her
forever family.
A good Mom loves her child fiercely and in ways she did not realize
were humanly possible before that child came into her life.
She is patient.
She apoligizes when she's made a mistake.
She gives great hugs and makes the boo-boos feel better.
She lets her child sit on her lap and reads the same story over and
over and over again....
Even if it's the 1000th time she's read "Good
Night Moon."
She wears jewelry made from colored macaroni with pride.
She stands at the door and watches her little one's chest rise and
fall in sleep and wonder's for the zillionth time, "How did I get so
lucky?"
She's usually the first thing her child sees in the morning and the
last one to give her a kiss at night.
She's a cheerleader, nurse, psychologist, teacher, chef, launderer,
accountant, cleaning lady, etc.
A good Mom will hold her little one's hair back while she retches for
the 14th time that night and then places a cool wash cloth on her
neck, kisses her, and tells her it's going to be okay (even though
the bathroom smells awful).
She's the disciplinarian, because even though her heart's desire is
to give her child anything and everything she could ever want, she
knows that's not healthy.
She wants what is best for her little one.
She is willing to sacrifice a great deal for her child, though her
child will never realize what those sacrifices were.
She is warmth and comfort in what can sometimes be a scary world.
Her arms protect and can heal heartaches.
She is the keeper of her child's story. And if her child was
adopted, she lovingly tells that story (even the hard parts) in age
appropriate ways so that her child may grow and come to an
understanding about her history and how she came to be part of her
forever family.
A good Mom loves her child fiercely and in ways she did not realize
were humanly possible before that child came into her life.
How we have spent our time.
During the past 3 years we have been blessed with the gifts that God has given us. We have gone from having Derrick and Shawn living with us to both of them out on their own. They are wonderful men now. Shawn is married to our daughter-in-law Sally. Sally is a bright addition to our family. She and Shawn are newlyweds. Sally has a very unique personality that lifts that lifts a room when she walks into it. I have never seen a man so crazy in love as Shawn is with her, and with good reason. Derrick has a family of his own. He made us grandparents. I must say very proud grandparents. Kaelin is his daughter; her picture will be painted all over this blog if you look close. She is our pride and joy. We are lucky to have Derrick and Sherry, Derrick's girlfriend, let us be such a big part of her life. I'm not sure, because Sherry never says anything, but she probably gets sick of our calls to come and get Kaelin, ask what she's doing or just hear her on the other end of the phone. Sherry just goes along with it; she is pretty laid back and patient. Another blessing to our family. Someone who is not as outspoken as her hopefully, soon to be mother-in-law. We have filled out hearts and home with the sound of baby feet almost every weekend. Paul and I have no idea where we would be without our now extended family.
I have been going to school, since I need to look for a new job. That has taken up a bunch of my time. We also keep our UK season football tickets so we travel to Lexington on the weekends during the fall. We have met some very nice people doing that. Chuck and Lori are some of our friends from Moorhead Ky. We went to visit them last summer. They have 3 International adopted children, 2 of them from China. Just when Paul and I were ready to throw in the towel, we met Chuck and Lori and they helped me in ways they will never know. Just seeing someone with their children like them was all it took. Lori talked to me for hours on my decision. She didn't even know me and made me feel so close to her. Listening to a women talk and cry over the very things that I'm crying over helped me to understand that what was going on with me was just something that I needed to make it through the rest of the wait.
Paul and I spend a great deal of time with Paul's brother Glen and his family. Laurie and I are very close. She has listened to me when I'm sure she wanted to get up and tell me to make up my mind. Do you want to be a Mom or not. That was what she asked me one day. The only answer I have ever had to that question was yes. Laurie said then this will work out. Keep my faith in God and he will see me through it.
My sister's have been a big part of my journey. From paperwork for the adoption, to listening to me crying, saying things to them that no one else will ever hear. My fears and worries. Hope and happiness weren't what this wait was ALL about. The first year we were hopeful, excited, and anxious. The second year I would not speak about the adoption, except to Karen and Jill, and that's if they made me. Just to see where I was with it. Ask how I was doing. Cheer me up. They even told everybody else that I might encounter to stay away from the subject with me. It was too hard to know then that this adoption was still 2 years away. And I knew that it was going to be that long, after I got on the waiting list things really slowed down. When anyone would ask me about the adoption and I would say "oh it will be about 2 years" the person would then most of the time say, well you know I know someone that adopted from China and it only took them 1 year. Having to hear that story over and over was nice in a way, but hard to hear. Because my wait wasn't 1 or 2 or whatever theirs was. I felt lonely and resentful. The person saying those words usually had biological children and didn't know how sad I was. But this year I'm hopeful again. It's so nice to feel like this just might happen.....
I have been going to school, since I need to look for a new job. That has taken up a bunch of my time. We also keep our UK season football tickets so we travel to Lexington on the weekends during the fall. We have met some very nice people doing that. Chuck and Lori are some of our friends from Moorhead Ky. We went to visit them last summer. They have 3 International adopted children, 2 of them from China. Just when Paul and I were ready to throw in the towel, we met Chuck and Lori and they helped me in ways they will never know. Just seeing someone with their children like them was all it took. Lori talked to me for hours on my decision. She didn't even know me and made me feel so close to her. Listening to a women talk and cry over the very things that I'm crying over helped me to understand that what was going on with me was just something that I needed to make it through the rest of the wait.
Paul and I spend a great deal of time with Paul's brother Glen and his family. Laurie and I are very close. She has listened to me when I'm sure she wanted to get up and tell me to make up my mind. Do you want to be a Mom or not. That was what she asked me one day. The only answer I have ever had to that question was yes. Laurie said then this will work out. Keep my faith in God and he will see me through it.
My sister's have been a big part of my journey. From paperwork for the adoption, to listening to me crying, saying things to them that no one else will ever hear. My fears and worries. Hope and happiness weren't what this wait was ALL about. The first year we were hopeful, excited, and anxious. The second year I would not speak about the adoption, except to Karen and Jill, and that's if they made me. Just to see where I was with it. Ask how I was doing. Cheer me up. They even told everybody else that I might encounter to stay away from the subject with me. It was too hard to know then that this adoption was still 2 years away. And I knew that it was going to be that long, after I got on the waiting list things really slowed down. When anyone would ask me about the adoption and I would say "oh it will be about 2 years" the person would then most of the time say, well you know I know someone that adopted from China and it only took them 1 year. Having to hear that story over and over was nice in a way, but hard to hear. Because my wait wasn't 1 or 2 or whatever theirs was. I felt lonely and resentful. The person saying those words usually had biological children and didn't know how sad I was. But this year I'm hopeful again. It's so nice to feel like this just might happen.....
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
New Year 2009
Paul and I spent the New Year in Nashville. I guess it was our way of doing a little something together to hopefully end 2008 in a wonderful way. And get ready for the year that, unless everything goes wrong, and I'm praying that it won't, we are new and proud parents to our daughter. We had a great time out and about. We met a sweet couple from New York, and spent the evening talking about our adoption. It was very nice because Marissa, the girl we met was adopted and she was very inspiring to us. She told us that she has her birth mothers name but has never searched for her. She told me that she didn't have any desire, she is happy with her life and feels like she doesn't need to know. I felt like God was telling me to take it easy, relax and embrace the fact that there are happy endings. I think that every parent that adopts, domestic or international, feels unsure and scared, that their child may want to find their birth parents. How will that affect the child. I would probably encourage it if it were possible, but I don't think that our daughter would be successful in that search. That is what scares me. That she would always wonder. So to say the least, Marissa touched me and somehow a complete stranger that we spent New Years Eve with changed some of my strongest fears, to just maybe our daughter will get past those wonders. God is with me all the time.
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