LILY

Today is Lily's 2nd Birthday, and as painful as it is to look at these pictures, my heart is full of love when I see them. Lily spent only 24 hours with us, and in those few hours has made an lasting impression on our lives. I can't remove those feelings or the love and wondering and praying for her everyday. Hoping that she has found a forever family. Thinking about what her life is like. Ours will never be the same since the day we met her. She is our angel that helped us meet Amelia. Someone so small and fragile has moved me and made me see life in a very different way. I wish I could tell you that I'm past that day we met her, but that is not true and I don't know if I will ever be. I will always love her and cherish the time we spent with her. She is still my daughter in China that I could not bring home. So just because I want to, Happy Birthday Lily, I love you and miss you so much, thank you for the sweet and wonderful way you touched our hearts.
Mommy and Daddy

Happy Valentine's Day

Daddy made us feel so important today, with flowers, candy, and stuffed animals. I hope that Millie feels better tomorrow, she has not been herself today. And her candy is calling Mommas name. Just kidding, it will all be there for her, we do fight over it, but I will save hers. She always likes to eat mine first and then hers. So much like me on the sweets.

Millie loves the snow!!

Millie and Avery playing in the snow.

First steps in the snow!!

This is a few pictures of Millie's first trip out into the snow covered ground. Millie loves to eat and play in the snow. I have to be very careful to not let any snow on the kitchen floor when we come in from outside because she will eat and lick the floor if any falls off of our shoes, or the dogs feet. I love to watch her play and run in the snow. Too bad I'm not a big fan of it. She doesn't even care if it's cold. When I get her out of the car in the garage I have to make sure the door is shut or she will run into the backyard and not come back until I go and get her. All the way down the hill in my shoes that are not fit for snow. These are the good days when I get to view the world from my daughters eyes. It almost makes me get excited to see it snow, as much as I don't like it.

Millie has been going to daycare for two weeks now and it is going okay. She has a ear infection, her and my first dealing with that. She started swinging at me in pain so I figured I had better go check with the doctor to see if something was broke from her day at the daycare or if it was her ear. It was her ear thankfully. Mom has a hard time with mornings as does Millie, to leave her in tears and then go to school and concentrate on whatever it is that day is hard on me. I have found someone to watch her in their home so she will be leaving daycare for now, but with the way things go with us she may go back. I hope not, but she might. That's it for now, and I hope to keep up with posting but my time is limited with all the test and reading, not to mention spending what time I can with my amazing babygirl.

All about Amelia!!

So this is it. This is what being a stay home Mommy gets. Millie has been my world and now I have to go back to having distractions from all of the following. Millie is now climbing and screaming. She is trying to read me books cover to cover. She is saying all kinds of words, not really putting them into sentences. Sometimes, well most of the time I can't really understand them. But she does have quite a vocabulary. She is starting to make animal sounds from her puzzles and us reading the "What do you say?" book, about 15 times a day. She is hugging us and giving out kisses on a regular bases. She gets so excited to see her Daddy come home from work and doesn't skip the opportunity to make his day a little sweeter with all of the love she gives to him. Millie is trying to say I love you when I say it to her, but also when she hugs me without me saying it first, which is so so sweet. She has learned to climb up her ladder to the slide that we put in the basement. She can climb stairs and go down as long as I make her turn around. The child has no fear and wants to go down the same way I do. I really haven't found anything that she is afraid of, maybe the dogs when they bark, it scares her more than anything. She is starting to learn the meaning of the word no, but we are still working on that. We have come so far with Millie getting to know this world and I'm so glad the way things have worked out with me being off school for the last 5 months. I've been able to see Millie take her first steps and wake up and fall to sleep for her naps. I have been able to watch her grow into the little girl she is today. I feel that it's just now that she is starting to learn how to do things outside of everyday walking and playing. We have been finger painting and coloring. She has been trying to help me clean the house. I'm going to miss her so much that it makes my heart hurt thinking about it.

I have to tell all that reads our blog, Amelia has been home with us, "her forever family" longer than the time she was in foster care!!! She was in foster care for 8 months and 2 weeks before she came into our lives and stole our hearts. She has been home with us 8 months 2 weeks and 4 days. It's very hard to believe that I wasn't the Mommy taking care of her, and very hard to talk about, but I'm so happy that I'm her Mommy now. It's seems like she has always been with us, and I guess she has in our hearts, growing with love everyday for 3 years.

January 15th

Happy Birthday to Lucy and Ellie!!!

Today is always a difficult day for Paul and I. Just a little something to smile for, more to cry for. We lost our twin baby girls 6 years ago today. Up to this point I didn't really have a reason to let life go on. I stayed in bed and remembered what it felt like to hold them and wonder who they are celebrating with in heaven, which by the way does bring a smile to my face thinking about all of the people that we love that have past on to heaven. I'm sure Papaw Henry and Maw maw Pat, Great Grandma Francis, and Great Grandpa JB Great Grandma Annie and Dorthy and Papaw Ray, and all of the people who loved us are holding them and loving them every minute of the time they get to themselves before I get to see them again. So I'm happy that I have wonderful people in heaven to take care of them before I get there. But today was different. Millie and I went to the cemetery together to visit. We had been doing some running that I had to do for school, and to say the least Millie was sick of being held and in the car. She was throwing a fit up until the point that I pulled into the cemetery. It seemed like she just felt quiet and relaxed. When I stopped the car and got her out she immediately laid her head on my chest and never lifted it until we got back to the car to go home. Millie never does this and I was surprised and touched by the baby that I do have to love. Millie is my angel sent to me from God and all of those souls in heaven. Happy Birthday to our twins, until we meet again Lucy and Ellie.

The New Year 2010!!

We have been blessed in so many ways in 2009, and now we entered 2010 as proud parents of our daughter. We spent New Year's Eve with some of our neighborhood friends this year, and Millie went with us. She had a great time with some of the younger girls. She tried to keep up with all the playing on the beds and took a tumble, but ended up with just a scatch on her nose. Daddy freaked out a bit, which was very cute. Millie cried for a few minutes and then off and running again, just not on the bed that time. We were home in bed at midnight fast asleep with our baby in her bed and life is good. Millie had her check up with the doctor last week. All in all it was a good report, with the exception that she is still trying to hit the 20 pound mark. Her Height is good and her head is on the charts, but weight is still in the 4% of American kids her age. The doctor says to keep up on what we are doing and she will be fine. Just to let you know, I feed her all the time and give her the good fat like I've been told to do, but she burns it off as fast as she can. As long as she continues to get taller we are okay.


On a different note, I start school at the end of January so things will change around the house again for Millie and us. She is going to day care again, but not the same place as she went before. We had to move her because of the time we need the care. So I will start calling it school again and it will be very emotional for me and Millie, I'm sure. So if the post are few and far between, it's because we all have to adjust again, and I have to study hard for Millie's future. I want her to look back on this blog oneday and understand that she can be and do whatever she wants and it doesn't matter how old. That a person has to make sacrifices to get what they want out of life. I would love to stay home until she goes to school, but I have an oppurtunity to do something for our family and I want to take advantage of it. I don't think that a career defines who you are, but I have promised myself that I will do something that I like instead of dislike, if ever I had the chance. I and many other people probably never thought that I would one day go back to school to be a nurse or anything else for that matter, but I dreamed of it and now I need to do it!!! Seems like many dreams and prayers are being answered..

Millie's 1st Christmas with us!!!

After all that has happened this year, and it has been an eventful one, I have to reflect on all of our Christmas's without our daughter. I can remember all of the mornings when there where the sounds of the boys trying to wake us up, and Paul and I laughing in bed because they wouldn't come to the door and ask if they could open up their presents. I don't know why they wouldn't, but it was funny to hear them talking and laughing really loud so that we would get up. Of course we made them wait it out for awhile, but then we gave in because we were so excited to see what Santa had brought them. And then there were the years when they were gone that we had to find a way to make it through Christmas without all of those wonderful sounds. We were on the waiting list for Millie and there wasn't a Christmas that went by that I didn't cry for her, for my babies that are in heaven, for someone to love to wake up with and watch open up all the gifts from Santa. And now there is this year. There were still tears of sadness, wondering about all the orphan's that need a home in China and here in the United States. Wondering what I did to deserve so much happiness with Millie. Missing those that have moved on without me. But I also had an amazing Christmas with Paul and Millie. I cried and cried while Millie danced to the Christmas music in the living room and played with all of her toys that I had to open for her. She didn't really care about the presents just wanted to play and dance.

My Christmas dream has come true. The story of Jesus and Joseph reminds me of Millie and Paul. She has the best daddy and he loves her with all of his heart. Here are a few pictures of my baby's 1st Christmas. I love you Amelia Yi!!!